Glass of 2018

The current class of 2018 at Boothbay Region High School is rumored to have been scheming up a controversial idea for a fundraiser.

      Current seniors at BRHS are planning to rake in massive profits by opening a window repair store. The plan is that by opening an actual business the class will be able to benefit more from this one store than with however many tiny fundraisers they hold. But why choose a store that specializes in replacing glass? Page Brown, current President of the class of 2018, stated in an interview, “Our class unanimously decided on a window repair store because with all of the stores downtown, there are thousands of windows. If, for instance, in some ‘freak accident’ or ‘storm’ all of them break, the businesses will be forced to turn to us for a speedy repair.” The entire class seems to be heavily relying on some destructive force going through downtown. This could either give them a large payout, or become a large let down if the class invests in the store and does not receive any business in return.

      The class is currently on track to rent a space downtown by January 10th. That will give the class enough time to furnish and open by the start of spring. Some members of the class speculate that the store should be opened by January 10th instead of only the space being rented by then. Hailey Greenleaf, a member of the class of 2018, has voiced “We need to at least be open for the end of winter because that is prime window breaking season. Think about it. It’s cold, glass is brittle, and it’s easy for a stray snowball that accidentally contains rocks or ice to hit a window.” While this could help generate more money, the class would have to go all in and spend nearly all of the class’ funds on the store. This would eliminate the safety net if the store flops. Is it worth the risk? Will the class be able to decide on a date to open the store? Will the store actually pull in profits, or at least “break” even?

      Only time will reveal the answers to these questions. But one thing is certain: the class of 2018 will be opening a glass repair store in early 2018.

Editor Note: Scripters would like to ensure readers that this piece is merely satire and no legal actions are necessary. 

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