Monthly Archives: January 2018

Wishing for Warmth

      There has been a gasoline shortage in Maine due to the cold temperatures this past few weeks. With a low of -50 degrees fahrenheit, the majority of gas pumps in Maine have frozen leaving the gasoline trapped inside. This epidemic has come close to home hitting both Irving and the Good n’ You gas station in Boothbay Harbor. A “concerned” citizen told our reporters “I payed for my gas at Irving and the darn thing was froze! So I went in for a refund, ‘cuz I ain’t gonna give ‘em no money for free, and the darn clerk wouldn’t give it to me! Now my darn truck won’t move ‘cuz she ain’t got any gas!”

      Here are some tips to help keep your truck running through these freezing times: pour one part antifreeze into every ten parts gasoline in your truck, start a tire fire whenever the car is parked to prevent the tires from freezing to the ground, and make sure to keep any windows open in order to let in the maximum amount of warm sun to heat your truck at all times.

       Although gas is freezing, some good news has come from these frigid temperatures. Boothbay Harbor is now on the map as the coldest town in the Western Hemisphere, surpassing Midlofnoware, Antarctica by just two degrees. Due to this record, Boothbay Harbor can expect a new source of tourism with new exhibits such as “Coldest Sidewalk,” “Most Frigid Tree,” and the already world famous “Right Chilly But Not Quite Frozen Water”. To see these exhibits and many more, simply take a stroll through downtown Boothbay Harbor for a small fee of twenty dollars.