Wishing for Warmth

      There has been a gasoline shortage in Maine due to the cold temperatures this past few weeks. With a low of -50 degrees fahrenheit, the majority of gas pumps in Maine have frozen leaving the gasoline trapped inside. This epidemic has come close to home hitting both Irving and the Good n’ You gas station in Boothbay Harbor. A “concerned” citizen told our reporters “I payed for my gas at Irving and the darn thing was froze! So I went in for a refund, ‘cuz I ain’t gonna give ‘em no money for free, and the darn clerk wouldn’t give it to me! Now my darn truck won’t move ‘cuz she ain’t got any gas!”

      Here are some tips to help keep your truck running through these freezing times: pour one part antifreeze into every ten parts gasoline in your truck, start a tire fire whenever the car is parked to prevent the tires from freezing to the ground, and make sure to keep any windows open in order to let in the maximum amount of warm sun to heat your truck at all times.

       Although gas is freezing, some good news has come from these frigid temperatures. Boothbay Harbor is now on the map as the coldest town in the Western Hemisphere, surpassing Midlofnoware, Antarctica by just two degrees. Due to this record, Boothbay Harbor can expect a new source of tourism with new exhibits such as “Coldest Sidewalk,” “Most Frigid Tree,” and the already world famous “Right Chilly But Not Quite Frozen Water”. To see these exhibits and many more, simply take a stroll through downtown Boothbay Harbor for a small fee of twenty dollars.

Glass of 2018

The current class of 2018 at Boothbay Region High School is rumored to have been scheming up a controversial idea for a fundraiser.

      Current seniors at BRHS are planning to rake in massive profits by opening a window repair store. The plan is that by opening an actual business the class will be able to benefit more from this one store than with however many tiny fundraisers they hold. But why choose a store that specializes in replacing glass? Page Brown, current President of the class of 2018, stated in an interview, “Our class unanimously decided on a window repair store because with all of the stores downtown, there are thousands of windows. If, for instance, in some ‘freak accident’ or ‘storm’ all of them break, the businesses will be forced to turn to us for a speedy repair.” The entire class seems to be heavily relying on some destructive force going through downtown. This could either give them a large payout, or become a large let down if the class invests in the store and does not receive any business in return.

      The class is currently on track to rent a space downtown by January 10th. That will give the class enough time to furnish and open by the start of spring. Some members of the class speculate that the store should be opened by January 10th instead of only the space being rented by then. Hailey Greenleaf, a member of the class of 2018, has voiced “We need to at least be open for the end of winter because that is prime window breaking season. Think about it. It’s cold, glass is brittle, and it’s easy for a stray snowball that accidentally contains rocks or ice to hit a window.” While this could help generate more money, the class would have to go all in and spend nearly all of the class’ funds on the store. This would eliminate the safety net if the store flops. Is it worth the risk? Will the class be able to decide on a date to open the store? Will the store actually pull in profits, or at least “break” even?

      Only time will reveal the answers to these questions. But one thing is certain: the class of 2018 will be opening a glass repair store in early 2018.

Editor Note: Scripters would like to ensure readers that this piece is merely satire and no legal actions are necessary. 

Tiny House Living: Redefining the American Dream

When imagining the American Dream, a white-picket fence, large house, and nice cars come to mind. That dream has taken a new direction. A fresh phenomenon is sweeping the country: going tiny. Tiny houses have become ever-increasingly popular. This new take on the American Dream enables a debt-free, nomadic and environmentally conscious lifestyle. Whether it be on a trailer, foundation, floating, or up in a tree, tiny houses are redefining the ‘American Dream.’


Now to put ‘tiny living’ into perspective. On average, the American home is 2,600 square feet, whereas the average tiny house ranges between 100 and 400 square feet. Being a fraction of the average American home, tiny houses seem to be a radical change, but there are many upsides. Americans spend an alarming portion of their paychecks on housing alone–an unnecessarily large portion. The rule of thumb is to spend no more than 25% of your income on housing, but many Americans spend double that. According to CBS News, an increasing amount of working-class families have to spend over 50% of their paycheck on rent. Even more alarming, according to CNN, 76% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Americans need to make a change somewhere in their lifestyles. So, what’s the alternative?

Tiny houses. According to The Tiny Life, to build a tiny house by yourself would cost approximately $23,000. Of course the total cost depends on: size, builders, features, and the finishes of the tiny house (like all other houses). A tiny house can fit anyone’s lifestyle and budget, the average cost ranges from $20,000 to $40,000 (Forbes). Compare those figures to the figures below in the average cost of an American house, see which one you would prefer.

Although owning a house may seem to be far off in the future, after college, housing will be your responsibility. With the burden of student loan debt, the last thing that you will want on your plate is a mortgage or rent payment. Stay tuned for more tiny house articles! Check out the link below for images of tiny houses!





Puerto Rico: The Effect of Neglect

Mountain Top Mayday“What we are going to see is something close to a genocide. We are dying here. I cannot fathom the thought that the greatest nation in the world cannot figure out the logistics for a small island of 100 miles by 35 miles. So, mayday we are in trouble.” (San Juan Mayor Carmen Yulín Cruz-Sep. 29th, 2017)


It has been almost two months since Hurricane Maria hit Puerto Rico and left the island in shambles. There has been a mass outpouring of support from across the country. One notable example is the release of Lin Manuel Miranda’s newest song “Almost Like Praying” to raise money for the relief. Miranda, who became a household name after his hit musical Hamilton swept the nation by storm, is no stranger to writing benefit songs, having previously collaborated with Jennifer Lopez to write “Loves Makes the World Go Round” in response to the Pulse Nightclub shooting last summer. “Almost Like Praying,” with its star-studded cast of Latin American artists, offers a roll call of all 78 of Puerto Rico’s towns. This effectively symbolizing Puerto Rican unity in a time of great devastation, and the reassurance no one is being forgotten in a time when it is difficult to feel otherwise. According to a study conducted by the Quinnipiac University, 52% of Americans feel that President Trump doesn’t care about the situation in Puerto Rico. These feelings are once again reflected by the 55% of Americans who believe the Trump administration has not done enough for the Hispanic majority area (“University”). This stands in sharp contrast with the favorable opinion regarding the administration’s handling of Harvey and Irma.

This impression seems fairly justified considering the flippant comments that the President has made regarding the island. He even alluded to removing federal support from the area only a month after the disaster: “We cannot keep FEMA, the Military & the First Responders, who have been amazing (under the most difficult circumstances) in P.R. forever!” (Trump) This comment was hastily retracted after receiving harsh backlash. As it stands, the current support afforded by the federal personnel on the island seems to be fairly lacking. National Nurses United reported that RNRN/NNU nurses deployed to the island were shocked to find people who have not yet received food, water and other supplies from FEMA. Moreover, many across the island have seen no sign of FEMA or any other federal relief officials at all (“Nurses”). This disparity in care has caused citizens to take matters into their own hands. More than a month after the hurricane hit on Oct. 26th, a group of civilians delivered a generator to a elder-care facility in Isabela, Puerto Rico. The facility has been almost perpetually without electricity and often water since Hurricane Maria. One of the citizens who delivered the generator asserted, “All we have is us, there is no FEMA here” to explain their involvement in the affair (Cunningham). The power situation in Puerto Rico still remains in dire straits, the Washington Examiner reports, “…66 percent of the island’s estimated 3.4 million residents have electricity, according to a government-run website detailing utility coverage.” Considering the progress made thus far the Governor of Puerto Rico, Ricardo Rosselló, estimates that full power will not return to the island until February (Giaritelli).

Read more

« Older Entries Recent Entries »